A year ago today, my wife and I tied the knot. We had an awesome weekend of celebration with friends and family, then we left for our honeymoon in Boston. Now that we’ve hit this marker in our married lives, I’d like to reflect on some of the things I’ve learned.
“What’s Next” Syndrome
Your first (and hopefully last) wedding is what I would consider one of the great milestones of the human experience. This experience includes things that you’ve learned to be important factors on the journey of life ever since you were small. Things like high school graduation, college graduation, marriage, and having kids are all some of the major milestones in my mind.
After spending months on an engagement and wedding planning, talking about minute and seemingly arbitrary details, the entire event and weekend is over in a flash. It’s easy to get caught in that “what’s next” feeling, with no major event to look forward to, and ultimately fall into the boredom of every day life.
There doesn’t have to be a “what’s next” right away. Everything isn’t all about you and your spouse. Take some time enjoying the pace of regular life, enjoying friends who celebrate weddings or babies, and enjoying not having to talk about wedding plans. Don’t rush into having babies of your own to fill the unfamiliar void.
Arguments
Have you ever argued about how to squeeze the toothpaste tube before? Well get ready… To quote an old Pat Green line, “you can argue about things you never thought you’d argue about in your whole life”. There will be fights about important things from time to time, but most of the time you’ll fight about frivolous stuff. When it’s all said and done you’ll have a good laugh.
Just remember that there’s no one you’d rather be arguing with, even if she does close the bag of chips the wrong way.
Don’t Lose You
Being married is awesome. You’re a team. You’ve always got someone to come home to and tell about your day. You’ve always got someone to have a beer with or help fold laundry. You’ve always got someone to have a meal with or bounce stupid ideas off.
Don’t forget to be yourselves as well. Encourage your wife to go out to the lake for a weekend “work retreat” with her colleagues. Grab a beer with your buddies after work every now and again. Don’t get in the way of spa days with her friends, and don’t pass on every golf outing, hunting, or fishing trip just because you’re married.
Spending a little time with your own friends, on activities you don’t usually do, goes a long way toward helping you appreciate your relationship even more.
One Year Ago
I married my best friend and it’s been the best year of my life.
